Mrs. Catherine Mukokota
Parenting is the lifeline to children, from birth until a child becomes independent parents play a crucial role in the upbringing and connecting children to their future. As we celebrate Parenting Month, our Weekly Guest at Besana Host, Onita Sibanda (OS) speaks to Cathrine Mukokota (CM).
OS: Welcome to our Weekly Guest Show. Our topic for tonight is ‘Parenting in the Digital Era Amidst Social Economic Pressures,’ and we’re joined by our guest Catherine Mukokota. Let’s get started!
CM: Good evening Onita and thank you so much for giving me this opportunity to be your guest.
OS: Catherine, thank you for joining us on the Show. Could you please take a moment to introduce yourself?
CM: My name is Mrs. Cathrine K Mukokota. My first and most important role is being a parent. I am a Mum to my beautiful kids and for that I appreciate my husband Mr. L Mukokota for giving me the chance to be a mother and a wife. Professionally, I am a Companies Inspector in the Ministry of Justice and an Accounting and Mathematics tutor by passion.
OS: Thank you! We are in the Parenting Month. What’s your understanding on parenting?
CM: In my own understanding parenting refers to the intricacies of raising a child and not just for a biological connection. In other words, it encompasses more than just rearing your biological kids. It also encompasses the extended family. In other words, it fosters and supports a child’s growth from birth to adulthood in all domains—physical, emotional, social, spiritual, and cognitive.
Put more simply, it’s the manner in which you bring up your kids. Parenting techniques come in a variety of forms and can change based on the parents. It might be lenient, authoritarian, or authoritative.
Authoritative: This includes moderately demanding behaviour from the parents with moderately responsive behaviour from the child. It is predicated on the sparing application of punishment and positive reinforcement. In this case, parents are more cognisant of the child’s emotions and skills. In other words, there are trade-offs involved.
When parents are very rigorous and strict, it is considered authoritarian. As a result, children are expected to meet high standards, and parents rarely show their appreciation. The children are subjected to stringent enforcement of non-negotiable norms and expectations. Penalties are applied when regulations are broken.
When a child’s liberty and independence are greatly respected, they are considered permissive. There is typically little to no discipline and the parents are not very strict.
OS: Well said! Parenting is indeed a comprehensive process that encompasses various aspects of a child’s development extending beyond biological relationships to include extended family and diverse parenting styles. I will move on to my next question. What are the roles of each parent (mother and father) in raising a child?
CM:Nowadays parents’ roles can’t be distinguished considering the economic environment that we are living in. But from what I gathered as a parent being a mother in particular the roles of a mother are
– to love the children unconditionally
– to care for them physically and emotionally
– to build the children i.e. encouraging them and teaching them moral values
– to connect i.e. learning your children and grow with them.
Mothers often serve as custodians of cultural heritage, passing down traditions, customs and values to their children.
The roles of Fathers from what I learnt from my husband and father is
– to protect his children
– providing for the needs and wants of the family i.e. food, clothing, shelter, formal education, e.t.c
– the chief disciplinarian in the home
OS: Thank you for sharing your insightful perspective on parenting roles! You’ve eloquently outlined the significant responsibilities of both mothers and fathers, showcasing the complementary nature of their contributions to a child’s development.
How is social media affecting parenting in the age of new technologies?
CM: In as much as social media makes life easier for us it has adverse effects on families. – there is lack of interaction as it kills face to face conversations for example instead of a child going to the parent to ask for what they want physically they can send a text or a whatsapp message.
– creates conflicts between parents and children as to what media content the children access. Our children are more technically versed than us the parents that at the end of the day us as parents might not be able to control what they watch or do on the social media
– social media is addictive, that is parent to children relationships tend to be minimal. No real relationships
– there tend to be unrealistic expectations. Parents might have higher expectations for their children which may be way beyond their children’s reach.
OS: Exactly! Social media’s benefits come with a cost, affecting family interactions and setting unrealistic standards. Last week we discussed about Ubuntu, how can the community help raise a child in this modern era?
CM: As a community it is best we watch each other’s backs. How do we do that by monitoring what our kids watch or which information they have access to? It’s better as a community that we monitor each other’s children. That is, if I come across an underage child viewing inappropriate information let’s inform each other and help each other out rather than laughing. In Shona there is a proverb inoti ‘Mugoni wepwere ndeasinayo’ Mwana ndewe munhu wese. It is up to us as parents to raise these kids well. I remember when we were growing up if I misbehaved and there is a parent close by, even who is not related to me. You would be beaten and they would take you to your parents and get beaten again. Iwe neni tine basa in the upbringing of our children. ‘Together WE CAN’
OS: Thank you Catherine, for sharing that insight. Let’s talk about the rights of children, for example, the right to make a decision or contribution towards his or her career . Another example on Sexual Reproductive Health Rights. How is this helping parents?
CM: Recognising the children’s rights is very helpful to us as parents to a certain extent. For example, the right to make a decision or contribution towards his/her career is very important in the sense that they will do what they are really passionate about. So, as parents it is best we support our kids in what they want to do. There is no reason to choose a career for your child because at the end of the day he/she will be frustrated. Let’s say I wanted to become a doctor then I fail and now imposing it on my child. You will be wanting to live your dream in your child yet he/she is an independent individual. As a parent let’s not dictate and force our kids to fulfil our failed dreams. It’s very bad. It’s better to let our children live in their passions and definitely they will excel.
On Social Reproductive Health Rights, morally it’s unacceptable but as parents in the 21st century we just have to accept it. Accepting it doesn’t mean we allow it. It is for making life easier for our children. This helps reduce unwanted pregnancies and early marriages. We all know that with these technological advancements our children are so much into experimenting, so it is for the best.
OS: Profound! Nowadays most of the parents, both of them will be working leaving children in the hands of a minder. What’s the best way to be good parents in that context?
CM: It is just that these harsh economic conditions are not giving parents the chance to choose what to do. Long back women were housewives and life was so good. But all the same as parents it will be best to have time for your children. Normatter, the matter be involved in your children’s lives and give them love. Giving children money and gifts is no replacement for parents’ affection. Being with them is. Spare time for them. Create time for them. We know life is not rosy but just be there whenever you are around go out with them to the parks or even to grab ice cream. Bond with them. Life is to short to live with regrets. Do it whilst you have the chance.
OS: Well said! Despite life’s challenges, it’s crucial for parents to make time for their children, show them love, and create lasting memories. What’s the place of religion in parenting?
CM: Religion plays a vital role in parenting in that you will teach your children what you believe in. The way you want them to live depends on your beliefs. As a Christian obviously you would want your child to be morally upright thus you will teach them accordingly. As a parent obviously it is your role to teach the children to follow the right path and you will be proud of them. No one wants to be associated with bad morals, so religion plays a pivotal role. The Bible goes on to say teach your children the way you want them and when they grow up they won’t depart from it.
OS: Thank you Catherine! How best can The Besana Mail help parents?
CM: As it is, The Besana Mail is equipping us as parents on our parenting roles with the roundtable discussions. In the future we wouldn’t mind having awareness campaigns/workshops where us as parents can be schooled on how best we can be better parents for our children.
OS: Thank you for sharing your insightful thoughts on parenting! Your last words?
CM: Thank you for having me. My last words to us as parents is TOGETHER WE CAN. Let’s step up to our role as parents to parent our children and not let them parent us.
OS: Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and insights with us today! Your parting message, *TOGETHER WE CAN* is indeed a powerful reminder of our collective responsibility as parents. We appreciate your encouragement to embrace our role and guide our children with love and support. We’re deeply grateful for your participation in today’s discussion! Your experiences, advice and passion for parenting have inspired us all. Thank you for sharing your time and expertise with us, it’s been an absolute pleasure having you on the show.
